Perinatal Therapy

Maybe you are:

  • you might be considering weaning off of birth control of adjusting other medications such as your ADHD, depression or bipolar meds.

    you feel ambivalent about adding initial or additional children to your family

    you struggle with the pressure of conforming to social pressures of having a baby or biological pressures

    you want to explore the impact of generational trauma on your sense of readiness

    You might tell yourself "I must fulfill my family's expectations before considering my own desires", "my mental health challenges might make me feel inadequate as a parent" or "I am not sure I will be a suitable parent"

  • You decided to go on the adventures of trying to conceive. You might have had miscarriages or a history of ectopic pregnancies in the past, so you are unsure of how your body might respond this time around.

    You may be trying to conceive via IUI, IVF or naturally, but either way, you are open to what might come.

    You are experiencing a roller coaster of emotions as you are in this window. Sometimes it can feel stressful or uncertain. Sometimes exciting

    Some messages you might tell yourself are:"my body's inability or ability to conceive reflects my inadequacy/adequacy as a person"or "I can't prioritize my own well being without feeling guilty."

  • This stage could bring a mix of worry, joy and anticipation.

    Balancing family expectations with your personal choices during pregnancy can be especially challenging, especially if your elders live close by and have rigid ideas about what health measures you should be taking during this season

    you might be coping with more feelings of worry while trying to address your past trauma

    While preparing for parenthood, you might have a stronger desire to develop a deeper understanding of your family's history

    Some messages you might tell yourself are: "I must conform to my family's expectations and listen to their unsolicited advice, even if it goes against my intuition.", "I am so tired, but feel so guilty for resting," "I am unsure if I can provide a nurturing environment for my future child”

  • In this stage, you might be struggling with wanting to provide a different experience than you had with your own upbringing.

    You want to cultivate emotional regulation and mindfulness for yourself and your child, but unsure of how to do so

    you want to navigate honoring your heritage, while cultivating your child's unique identity

    Messages that you might be telling yourself are: "Ill never be able to overcome my childhood wounds," "I am so scared of messing up my kid", "Sometimes I wish I didn't have a kid," or "I'm destined to be like my mother/father, no matter how hard I try"


Worry and Anxiety Around This Period Can Affect Your Self Esteem

  • You might doubt yourself

  • You might find yourself competing or comparing yourself to others

  • You might blame yourself 

  • You might think you're a "bad" person

  • It can reduce your confidence

  • You might find yourself irritable at everything, even your child

  • You might find yourself short tempered

  • You might not enjoy things that you used to enjoy

  • You might catastrophize and expect the worst to happen

  • You might be losing hope with things returning "back to normal"

  • You might not find it easy to ask for help

  • You might have racing thoughts

  • You might find it difficult to fall asleep when you are tired

  • You might have panic symptoms

What is the root issue?

Unresolved attachment wounds, the unaddressed impact of systemic and intergenerational trauma, white body supremacy, complex trauma all play a part in the development and exacerbation of perinatal anxiety and depression. Other factors that play a big role are: hormonal changes, genetic predisposition, personal history of anxiety/depression/trauma, stress and life changes, tendency towards perfectionism and expectations, relationship changes, lack of social support, traumatic birth experiences, cultural pressures and body image concerns all influence the length and intensity of symptoms. 

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The perinatal period can last up to 7 years after your child is born, since the adjustments with adding new family members can be so huge. 

Common Symptoms of Perinatal Anxiety/Depression

  • Sleep disturbances- You might be sleeping too much or too little, or finding it hard to fall back asleep, even when you have the chance to sleep. 

  • Feelings of guilt or worthlessness- You might feel like a burden or guilty for not being a "good enough" parent. It sometimes might lead you to having thoughts of taking your own life (suicide) even if they are just passing thoughts. 

  • Lack of Bonding- You might feel disconnected from the baby and might not feel joy or delight while being in their presence

  • Excessive worry and concerns- You worry about whether or not the baby is too cold, too warm, whether or not they are breathing, sleeping or eating enough. For parents of older children, you might worry about their homework, whether or not they are being mistreated or mistreating others. This isn't only a passing thought, but occupies your mind most of the day and it feels hard to think or notice other things. 

  • Persistent Sadness- Feeling sad, down or hopeless most of the day, nearly everyday. You might have lost interest or a sense of pleasure in activities that you used to enjoy. You might feel physically and emotionally drained. You might not enjoy the foods that you used to, nor do you have much of an appetite. 

  • Hypervigilance, Irritability, difficulty concentrating- You might find yourself overly alert and watchful for potential perceived or real threats. You might avoid situations that trigger your worries. You might find it difficult to make decisions, focus or remember things. 

Therapy Can Help

  • Emotional regulation for professional and parental success- IFS provides a roadmap to help you regulate intense emotions, which also helps cultivate emotional resilience. Traditional talk therapy provides you with a therapist that encourages you to simply "be empathetic", but IFS provides a way to actually do it. 

  • Manage overwhelming stress and create empowered boundaries- Juggling being a working professional and being a parent can be a LOT sometimes. IFS therapy can be used to help manage the rest and work with your parts to create respectful boundaries. 

  • Resolving parental fears- "what if I'm not a good enough parent?" "what if I totally screw up my kids?" Working with internal parts that hold onto worries/doubles so you can have clarity and confidence

  • Transforming self criticism- IFS therapy helps transform critical parts into compassionate allies. This will have a huge ripple effect with your parenting and your influence over your kids. You will learn to exercise leadership in your household with compassionate curiosity, instead of authoritative dominance.

  • Generational healing- IFS allows folx to address intergenerational trauma, breaking cycles of negative patterns that connect you and your ancestors.