Intensive Couples Therapy for Infidelity
In Person on Beacon Hill, Seattle
Virtually for WA State Residents
If you're here, something has happened that has cracked open the ground beneath your relationship.
Maybe you're the partner who discovered something you can't unsee, and you're living inside a version of your life that feels unrecognizable — checking your phone at 2am, replaying conversations, wondering what was real. Or maybe you're the partner who broke trust, carrying a mix of shame, fear, and desperation to fix something you're not sure can be fixed, unsure if you'll be heard as a person or only as what you did. Wherever you are in this, you don't have to have it figured out before you walk in. At couples therapy, we work with couples in the raw, disorienting weeks and months after betrayal — helping you both find footing, whether that means rebuilding together, or figuring out, with clarity instead of chaos, what comes next.
How Do Couples Intensives Work?
Most parents know what it's like to put something important off because there was never a good time. That calculus doesn't work anymore.
A couples intensive isn't a retreat. It's 1-2 days of focused, uninterrupted work on the thing that actually needs your attention — your relationship. No homework. No "see you next week." Just sustained time to go beneath the surface of what's been happening between you.
For some couples, waiting isn't an option. Every week you delay, the distance gets a little more familiar. The silence a little more comfortable. Weekly therapy is powerful — but not if you're too deep in crisis for an hour a week to hold.
Two days. Everything else can wait.
Betrayal Doesn't Have to Be the End of the Story — But It Does Have to Be Faced
Our two days together will be shaped entirely around what's actually happened between you — the affair, the discovery, the aftermath, whatever form the breach of trust has taken.
We'll draw on PACT (Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy) — which works with how your nervous systems react to each other in the moment, especially in the flooding, shutdown, or hypervigilance that so often follows betrayal — and IFIO (Intimacy from the Inside Out), rooted in Internal Family Systems, which helps each of you understand the parts of yourself driving secrecy, defensiveness, or distrust, and what those parts are actually trying to protect.
Most of our time will be spent together as a trio, with a dedicated individual session for each of you along the way.
If you're the partner who was hurt, you don't have to hold it together here. If you're the partner who broke trust, you don't have to have the perfect words ready. Whatever is true for each of you is welcome in this room — and I'll be right there with you, every step of the way.
Your Two-Day Intensive: What to Expect
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Thank you for trusting us with something this tender. Below is an overview of how our two days together will be structured — not so you'll know exactly what to say or when, but so you can walk in feeling oriented rather than anxious about the unknown.
Each day runs roughly 8 hours, with breaks and a lunch built in. You'll move between time together as a couple and time one-on-one with your therapist. Nothing about the pacing is rigid — if either of you needs more space or more time at any point, we'll adjust.
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We'll start separately. Before we come together, each of you will have a short individual check-in. This isn't a test — it's so we can start the day knowing where you each are, and make sure we're building the day on solid ground for both of you.
Then we'll come together to talk about what you're each hoping is possible by the end of these two days, and to set some shared agreements for how we'll move through them.
We'll sit with the story of what happened — the full account, as you both understand it, including where your memories or perspectives diverge. This is often one of the harder parts of the day, and we'll take a real break afterward.
In the afternoon, you'll each have individual time again — one of you exploring what was underneath the choices that were made, the other exploring what you need in order to feel safe enough to keep going. This time is held evenly for both of you.
Then we'll bring you back together for a conversation about impact — where the partner who broke trust reflects back what this has cost, and what they're committing to. This isn't a performance or a script. Whatever comes up here is allowed to be real, including if it's messy.
We'll close the day gently, with time to settle before you leave.
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We'll begin together, looking at what your relationship was like before the affair — what conditions, pressures, or patterns were present. To be clear: this conversation is never about assigning blame to the partner who was betrayed. It's about understanding the fuller picture.
Then you'll each have individual time to look at patterns you were each carrying before the affair happened — ways of protecting yourselves that may have been running quietly underneath the relationship, and how those patterns may have interacted with each other.
After lunch, we'll come back together for a second, more courageous conversation — one that moves toward repair and toward naming what you want your relationship to look like going forward, including new agreements or rituals that reflect that.
We'll close by making sure you leave with a plan — not just for how the intensive ends, but for the days and weeks immediately after, including a clear next step for ongoing support.
Two days is enough time to open something honest and begin repairing it. It is not enough time to finish the work — and it isn't meant to be. Our goal is for you to leave these two days with clarity, some real relief, and a concrete next step, whatever that ends up being for the two of you.
I can hold the aftermath of betrayal
(you can, too)
Couples intensives are intense by nature. This isn't a retreat. It's hard work. Many couples leave with a different understanding of what happened, of each other, and of themselves. Whether you're days out from discovery and need somewhere to put the chaos, or you've been circling the same unresolved rupture for months and need to finally move through it instead of around it — this is a fast, structured way to do the work that usually takes months, in two days.
Trust can be rebuilt. Not the same as before — something new, built on what you've both learned.
I’m Angela Tam
Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, IFIO Couples Therapist Trainer
Chinese-American child of immigrants.
Parent to 3 children. Neurodivergent. Queer. Non binary.
Being born to two Chinese-Vietnamese refugee parents, I know what it’s like to grow up with little knowledge and skills with navigating my close relationship. My parents taught me about working hard and stressed academic achievements, but didn’t equip me to learn about conflict management, managing my big feelings or being vulnerable and deepening my relationships.
My inability to navigate my inner world and close relationships was my biggest obstacle to connection to myself and others. I couldn’t connect to my body or my feelings, so how was I supposed to connect to others? My only template for romantic relationships was my parents. They were really committed to providing for my physical needs, but didn’t show me how to apologize, make requests in a way that doesn’t come across like a demand, share household responsibility in a way that was mutually equitable, not power hoard but to share decision making power with differences that seem irreconcilable. I had to learn all of these on my own. Through years of individual and marital therapy. My husband and I started from the ground up and had to hire mentors and teachers to teach us how to be with each other without tearing each other apart.
In addition to all of that, I learned later in life that I was queer, non binary and very ADHD. It took me years to unlearn the shame that came with the experience of feeling so different than other Asian Americans. I am learning how to work with my inner world and my life’s purpose is to support others in growing their self trust and love.
How to start therapy
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Look over my FAQ carefully. It will answer some of your questions.
I currently have limited virtual openings for individuals living in the State of Washington. Preference will be given to those who are specifically interested in IFS therapy, but open to those who want a more "traditional" approach to talk therapy. All sessions are offered virtually and on a weekly basis (no monthly or bi monthly options are available).
I do not accept insurance, but do accept HSA, FSA payments. I will also send you a superbill for possible reimbursement.
If you still have questions, email Angela@Angelatam.net
Or for a quicker response, text me at 206.203.2355
Note: Contact with me via email or phone does not constitute a therapeutic relationship. Our therapeutic relationship begins when we both agree to proceed with therapy and all paperwork is signed.
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My current openings for weekly sessions are:
Mondays- 1pm
Tuesdays- 11am, 1pm, 2pm
Wednesdays- 10am, 12pm, 1pm, 2pm, 3pm
Thursdays and Fridays- Reserved for couples intensives
I do not see people bi monthly or monthly. I only see people weekly or for intensives
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Choose your rate based on your score. I operate by an honor system and won’t ask you to verify any of the above information.
For couples intensives, prices are fixed. -
Here is the link for scheduling your consult. If we are a good match for each other and our schedule works, electronic paperwork will be sent to you to sign and fill out within 24 hours.
This includes:
1) Informed Consent
2) Telehealth Consent and Audio Only Billing Consent
3) HIPAA & Washington State Notice Of Rights & Privacy Practices
4) Credit Card Authorization
5) Intake Questionnaire (30-40minutes)
6) Social Media and Electronic Communication Policy
7) Emergency Contact Form
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We will use a HIPAA compliant platform. We will learn about you, your frustrations and goals. We will also talk about a plan for your time in therapy. In addition, we will talk about what it looks like to end therapy.
First Session:
The goal of the first session is for you to be witnessed in your pain, to understand what is happening and for you to feel hopeful about your potential growth.
Workable Contract:
By the 2nd/3rd session, you will have a better idea of of what to expect as we work together. We will put together a workable contract of your overarching goals, ways to work towards your goals and barriers, as well as getting to know when you will know how you will be finished with therapy.
Practice/Work:
I will provide you with some education, skills/tools, encourage you to try to relate to yourself and others in a different way, optional homework, and provide you with ideas to manage the general overwhelm. I may send you some external resources like book/podcast recommendations too.
Feedback:
I encourage clients to give me verbal feedback regularly so that my practice can be adjusted more towards your needs and concerns and values. You are also welcome to send me written feedback as well.
Ending Therapy:
Some clients benefit from brief therapy (1-4 sessions), or short term therapy (<6months) for a single issue. Some folx come with a complex issue that requires more long term work (12months-3years). We will end therapy when your workable contract (goals) have been met, symptoms are improving or whenever you feel like therapy with me isn't helping anymore.
Referrals:
Some clients pause therapy for a while and decide to come back due to changes in their life. If that's the case, please email me and we can always restart our sessions, if I have availability. Any anytime, if we are not compatible or have needs that is beyond the scope of my expertise, I will share some referrals with you for other specialists that can help.
FAQs
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Couples Intensives are for people who are willing to examine how they have contributed to the disconnect in their relationship, even if they have been seemingly wronged by their partner. Intensives are a place where we recognize that radical self awareness means radical responsibility and accountability from BOTH partners. Couples intensives are not a good fit for couples experiencing domestic violence
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I only see folx for weekly therapy right now or two day long intensives
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I use a trauma informed somatic internal family systems focus. This means co-creating a space based on safety, choice, trust, collaboration, respect for differences and empowerment. The goal is for you to understand the bodily impact of trauma and how to regulate yourself and be more uncomfortable with uncertainty. I see each of us as made up of parts. Parts that have different motivations, agendas and beliefs. The goal is to integrate all these isolated parts so you can access your Core Self.
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Yes, please sign up to do a free consult with me, even if you aren’t in a romantic relationship.
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No, but I accept HSA/FSA payments. I am an out of network provider for most insurance panels. I can submit a monthly superbill for you to submit to your insurance for possible reimbursements.
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It varies depending on your situation. My range is $140- $250. Please see my sliding scale chart above.
For couples intensives, prices are fixed. It is around $3,150 for a 6 hour intensive -
I am seeing client virtually only right now and only see clients in person if they want couples intensives
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I don't work with clients who are actively suicidal/homicidal, struggle actively with eating disorders or problematic substance use. These issues require more intense care that I cannot provide.
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Sure, I am a Global Leadership coach. You can book an appointment with me here for coaching, if you live anywhere in the world. In my coaching practice, I love to work with 1st/2nd/3rd Gen Immigrants of Color in helping them navigate making bold changes in their career and to step into more authentic versions of themselves.
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I have a 48 hour cancellation policy. If you cancel outside of that time frame, you won't be charged the full rate of our sessions. If you do, for any reason, even if it is for an emergency, you will be charged the full rate of our session
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Participating in therapy where one partner is not willing to do the work of showing up will not be helpful or effective. In order for this to be effective, both partners must be willing to show up. If this is the case for you, where you want to do this work, but your partner doesn’t, you might want to consider:
Discernment counseling- helps with one partner not wanting to stay together and the other partner does
Individual therapy- learning more about your own needs, desires, fears and longings alongside possibly exploring boundaries, communication skills, and self advocacy abilities
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I don’t work with couples that struggle with domestic violence/intimate partner violence, narcisstic abuse and relationships where active infidelity is present.
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My No Secrets policy is based on the principle that the relational unit (you and your partner together) are my client, not one person individually. Whatever is shared outside of sessions (through text, email or side conversations) will not be held as a secret.
Watch my videos from my Instagram account
