Intensive Couples Therapy For Couples on the Fringe of Divorce/Separation
Because weekly therapy takes too long
In Person on Beacon Hill, Seattle
Virtually for WA State Residents
You were just blindsided by an ultimatum—Either couples therapy or divorce.
You didn't miss the signs because you weren't paying attention. You missed them because you were busy — genuinely, legitimately buried. Drop-offs and deadlines and dinner and doing it all again tomorrow. Your relationship wasn't a priority because it didn't seem like an emergency.
Until it was.
Now you're sitting with something you can't unfeel — a conversation that split your life into before and after. And the cruelest part is that nothing on the outside has changed. You still have to be a parent today. You still have to answer emails. You still have to function inside a life that suddenly feels like it belongs to someone else.
This is where we work. Not on the version of your relationship that looked fine from the outside — but on the one that was quietly starving underneath it. Two days won't fix years. But they can give you something you don't have right now: the full picture. What you've both been carrying. What you stopped saying. Where the distance actually started.
You don't have to decide anything yet. You just have to be willing to look.
How Do Couples Intensives Work?
Most parents know what it's like to put something important off because there was never a good time. That calculus doesn't work anymore.
A couples intensive isn't a retreat. It's 1-2 days of focused, uninterrupted work on the thing that actually needs your attention — your relationship. No homework. No "see you next week." Just sustained time to go beneath the surface of what's been happening between you.
For some couples, waiting isn't an option. Every week you delay, the distance gets a little more familiar. The silence a little more comfortable. Weekly therapy is powerful — but not if you're too deep in crisis for an hour a week to hold.
Two days. Everything else can wait.
Couples Intensives Are A Way To Center and Treat the Relationship Crisis
Our two days together will be shaped entirely around what's actually happening for the two of you.
We'll draw on PACT (Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy) — which works with how your nervous systems respond to each other in real time — and IFIO (Intimacy from the Inside Out), rooted in Internal Family Systems, which helps each of you understand the parts of yourself that show up in conflict and what they're really trying to protect.
Most of our time will be spent together as a trio, with a dedicated individual session for each of you along the way.
Bring the mess. Bring the thing you've been afraid to say. This is a space built for exactly that — and I'll be right there with you, every step of the way.
Sample Schedule
Day 1 (6.5 hours) $3,150
9:00- 10:30am
Welcome and Orientation. Set intentions for the intensives, establish how we work together as a group.
10:30-12:00pm
Dyadic session to get familiar with dynamics, patterns and root issues of conflict cycles.
12:00pm-1:15pm
Reflective lunch break
1:15pm- 2:15pm- Relationship session to recognize relationship dynamic and developed shared responsibility plan for how each person contributes to the dynamics. Laying out a plan for each person to take radical responsibility for their part of the disconnect
2:15pm- 3:15pm- Individual session for one partner to get familiar with looking inward to examine their personal defaults, blueprints, conditioning and how those scripts contributed to the disconnect.
3:15pm- 4:15pm- Individual session for the other partner to do the same and to notice how their inner tensions have contributed to the conflict.
4:15pm- 5:00pm- Regroup and feedback. Plan for the next day and questions addressed. Couples doing a single day intensive will be given a summary of what we covered and your follow up assignments.
Day 2 (6.5 hours)- $3,150
9:00- 10:30am- Individual session #2 for partners to deepen examine and befriend any inner conflicts that might of contributed to the dysfunction in the relationship.
10:30-12:00pm- These secondary individual sessions for each partner are to raise self awareness of default scripts and to release default scripts that affect the conflicts.
12:00pm-1:15pm
Reflective and restful lunch break
1:15pm- 4:30 pm- Relationship session to share what was learned and understood from the individual sessions and how their unconscious internal defaults contributed to the relationship issues. Invite each person to acknowledge and take responsibility for what they can.
4:30pm- 5:00pm- Discuss feedback, next steps, takeaways, actionable next steps, each person sharing summary of their understandings. You will leave with a summary and a list of new practices to try at home.
I can handle your hardest fights
(you can too)
Couples intensives are intense by nature. It isn’t a retreat. It is hard work. Many couples walk away with a different perspective of their partner and themselves. If this is a last ditch Hail Mary kind of thing or you simply want to save your high conflict relationship and try to not hate each other afterwards, this is a powerful and quick way to do so.
I’m Angela Tam
Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, IFIO Couples Therapist Trainer
Chinese-American child of immigrants.
Parent to 3 children. Neurodivergent. Queer. Non binary.
Being born to two Chinese-Vietnamese refugee parents, I know what it’s like to grow up with little knowledge and skills with navigating my close relationship. My parents taught me about working hard and stressed academic achievements, but didn’t equip me to learn about conflict management, managing my big feelings or being vulnerable and deepening my relationships.
My inability to navigate my inner world and close relationships was my biggest obstacle to connection to myself and others. I couldn’t connect to my body or my feelings, so how was I supposed to connect to others? My only template for romantic relationships was my parents. They were really committed to providing for my physical needs, but didn’t show me how to apologize, make requests in a way that doesn’t come across like a demand, share household responsibility in a way that was mutually equitable, not power hoard but to share decision making power with differences that seem irreconcilable. I had to learn all of these on my own. Through years of individual and marital therapy. My husband and I started from the ground up and had to hire mentors and teachers to teach us how to be with each other without tearing each other apart.
In addition to all of that, I learned later in life that I was queer, non binary and very ADHD. It took me years to unlearn the shame that came with the experience of feeling so different than other Asian Americans. I am learning how to work with my inner world and my life’s purpose is to support others in growing their self trust and love.
How to start therapy
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Look over my FAQ carefully. It will answer some of your questions.
I currently have limited virtual openings for individuals living in the State of Washington. Preference will be given to those who are specifically interested in IFS therapy, but open to those who want a more "traditional" approach to talk therapy. All sessions are offered virtually and on a weekly basis (no monthly or bi monthly options are available).
I do not accept insurance, but do accept HSA, FSA payments. I will also send you a superbill for possible reimbursement.
If you still have questions, email Angela@Angelatam.net
Or for a quicker response, text me at 206.203.2355
Note: Contact with me via email or phone does not constitute a therapeutic relationship. Our therapeutic relationship begins when we both agree to proceed with therapy and all paperwork is signed.
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My current openings for weekly sessions are:
Mondays- 1pm
Tuesdays- 11am, 1pm, 2pm
Wednesdays- 10am, 12pm, 1pm, 2pm, 3pm
Thursdays and Fridays- Reserved for couples intensives
I do not see people bi monthly or monthly. I only see people weekly or for intensives
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Choose your rate based on your score. I operate by an honor system and won’t ask you to verify any of the above information.
For couples intensives, prices are fixed. -
Here is the link for scheduling your consult. If we are a good match for each other and our schedule works, electronic paperwork will be sent to you to sign and fill out within 24 hours.
This includes:
1) Informed Consent
2) Telehealth Consent and Audio Only Billing Consent
3) HIPAA & Washington State Notice Of Rights & Privacy Practices
4) Credit Card Authorization
5) Intake Questionnaire (30-40minutes)
6) Social Media and Electronic Communication Policy
7) Emergency Contact Form
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We will use a HIPAA compliant platform. We will learn about you, your frustrations and goals. We will also talk about a plan for your time in therapy. In addition, we will talk about what it looks like to end therapy.
First Session:
The goal of the first session is for you to be witnessed in your pain, to understand what is happening and for you to feel hopeful about your potential growth.
Workable Contract:
By the 2nd/3rd session, you will have a better idea of of what to expect as we work together. We will put together a workable contract of your overarching goals, ways to work towards your goals and barriers, as well as getting to know when you will know how you will be finished with therapy.
Practice/Work:
I will provide you with some education, skills/tools, encourage you to try to relate to yourself and others in a different way, optional homework, and provide you with ideas to manage the general overwhelm. I may send you some external resources like book/podcast recommendations too.
Feedback:
I encourage clients to give me verbal feedback regularly so that my practice can be adjusted more towards your needs and concerns and values. You are also welcome to send me written feedback as well.
Ending Therapy:
Some clients benefit from brief therapy (1-4 sessions), or short term therapy (<6months) for a single issue. Some folx come with a complex issue that requires more long term work (12months-3years). We will end therapy when your workable contract (goals) have been met, symptoms are improving or whenever you feel like therapy with me isn't helping anymore.
Referrals:
Some clients pause therapy for a while and decide to come back due to changes in their life. If that's the case, please email me and we can always restart our sessions, if I have availability. Any anytime, if we are not compatible or have needs that is beyond the scope of my expertise, I will share some referrals with you for other specialists that can help.
FAQs
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Couples Intensives are for people who are willing to examine how they have contributed to the disconnect in their relationship, even if they have been seemingly wronged by their partner. Intensives are a place where we recognize that radical self awareness means radical responsibility and accountability from BOTH partners. Couples intensives are not a good fit for couples experiencing domestic violence
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I only see folx for weekly therapy right now or two day long intensives
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I use a trauma informed somatic internal family systems focus. This means co-creating a space based on safety, choice, trust, collaboration, respect for differences and empowerment. The goal is for you to understand the bodily impact of trauma and how to regulate yourself and be more uncomfortable with uncertainty. I see each of us as made up of parts. Parts that have different motivations, agendas and beliefs. The goal is to integrate all these isolated parts so you can access your Core Self.
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Yes, please sign up to do a free consult with me, even if you aren’t in a romantic relationship.
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No, but I accept HSA/FSA payments. I am an out of network provider for most insurance panels. I can submit a monthly superbill for you to submit to your insurance for possible reimbursements.
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It varies depending on your situation. My range is $140- $250. Please see my sliding scale chart above.
For couples intensives, prices are fixed. It is around $3,150 for a 6 hour intensive -
I am seeing client virtually only right now and only see clients in person if they want couples intensives
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I don't work with clients who are actively suicidal/homicidal, struggle actively with eating disorders or problematic substance use. These issues require more intense care that I cannot provide.
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Sure, I am a Global Leadership coach. You can book an appointment with me here for coaching, if you live anywhere in the world. In my coaching practice, I love to work with 1st/2nd/3rd Gen Immigrants of Color in helping them navigate making bold changes in their career and to step into more authentic versions of themselves.
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I have a 48 hour cancellation policy. If you cancel outside of that time frame, you won't be charged the full rate of our sessions. If you do, for any reason, even if it is for an emergency, you will be charged the full rate of our session
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Participating in therapy where one partner is not willing to do the work of showing up will not be helpful or effective. In order for this to be effective, both partners must be willing to show up. If this is the case for you, where you want to do this work, but your partner doesn’t, you might want to consider:
Discernment counseling- helps with one partner not wanting to stay together and the other partner does
Individual therapy- learning more about your own needs, desires, fears and longings alongside possibly exploring boundaries, communication skills, and self advocacy abilities
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I don’t work with couples that struggle with domestic violence/intimate partner violence, narcisstic abuse and relationships where active infidelity is present.
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My No Secrets policy is based on the principle that the relational unit (you and your partner together) are my client, not one person individually. Whatever is shared outside of sessions (through text, email or side conversations) will not be held as a secret.
Watch my videos from my Instagram account
